RUOK Day last week helped to raise awareness of depression and mental illness but, according to counsellor, Hollie Bakerboljkovac of Braidwood Holistic Therapies, every day should be RUOK Day.
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The underlying concept of RUOK Day is to destigmatise mental illness, but it is also a way of letting people know that they can tell someone else if they are experiencing problems and to know that in doing so, they are not a burden. Hollie says that many people avoid talking about their problems out of fear that they are passing their burden on to someone else.
"RUOK is about listening", said Hollie. "It's about having permission to reach out".
There is a false impression that in small towns where everyone knows everyone, that there will be less of a need for asking "Are you OK?", but Hollie said that the opposite is often the case.
"A small town has its advantages because we all see each other all the time, but paradoxically, that also means that people can fall through the cracks".
The stronger the community, the stronger the individuals, according to Hollie.
The questions we need to ask ourselves, not just on RUOK Day, but all the time, are things like: Who haven't I seen lately? Who needs to be checked on?
The statistics on mental illness in Australia are sobering. It is estimated that one in four people will experience some sort of mental illness in their lifetime. Anyone is susceptible and no one is immune.
Hollie says that, as a counsellor, she doesn't see more clients immediately as a result of RUOK Week. "The conversations come first", she said. "It might take several conversations before someone is ready to suggest that a friend needs to seek professional help".
Counsellor at the Braidwood MPS, Jo Wilson, agreed, adding that RUOK was resulting in more men seeking help, which she says is a huge advance. She credits initiatives such as the Men's Shed with providing a facility for men to talk to one another.
The statistics on suicide in Australia bear witness to a problem that runs deep in our society. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, over the five year period from 2012 to 2016, the average number of suicide deaths per year was 2,795. It is the leading cause of death of persons aged 15-44. The figure for men is three times that of women.
RUOK suggests four steps where a person thinks a friend might need help: Ask; Listen; Encourage action; Check in.
RUOK Day was started in 2009 by Gavin Larkin, whose father's suicide, 14 years earlier, left his family devastated. Gavin believed that the one simple question, are you OK?, might have saved his father's life and he took on the challenge to save other families from the pain his suffered.